First Lady Michelle Obama told a gathering at Howard University's School of Business today that working mothers must choose their own paths, balancing work with family. The event was billed as "Home, Work, Community: The Role of the African American Women As Change Agents."
"The one thing--the one message that I have is for all of you struggling with this issue is just remember there is no right answer. It took me a long time to figure that out. There is no one right way to do any of this. And the choices and the decisions will change, given your circumstances," she told an audience at a panel discussion at the school.
Mrs. Obama, who wore a red dress with a single strand or pearls, spoke briefly at the start of of the panel discussion, which included four business women and a student leader. Howard officials said Obama's staff had called Howard University, a historically Black university located in Washington, DC and asked whether the first lady could visit as part of her listening tour in her new community of Washington.
Students and faculty members, who were required to have tickets, lined up from early morning to get inside the auditorium. They listened closely as the first lady spoke calmly, saying, "In your struggle to figure these things out as women, as professionals, that you have to do what's right for you at any given time, and that's going to change--from week to week, from month to month, from year to year."
She said it was important for women "to be true to yourselves, not to worry too much about what other people are going to think or make of your choices, because everyone will question what you do and tell you you should've done it the other way."
She said that she had dealt with the issue her whole life, "trying to figure out how to juggle work-family balance in the process of getting an education. There isn't a day that goes by, particularly after having kids, that I don't wonder or worry about whether I'm doing the right thing for myself, for my family, for my girls."
Mrs. Obama said priorities will change, as life changes, as people grow older, as they change jobs and their families grow.
"The person I was when I was in college is very different than the person that I am today. That person is very different than the person who was single.....I was different when I was married. I was different when I was married with kids. I was different when I was married with kids in certain types of jobs. And every step of the way, I wondered whether I was doing the righ thing."
To Watch the video of her presentation:
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Working Mothers Stop Being Superwomen
Many working mothers are frazzled trying to be "perfect." They are trying to be the "perfect mother," the "perfect partner" and the "perfect" employee. In the midst of trying to obtain this perfection they are losing themselves. Many working mothers are silently seething about the demands that they feel are being placed on them by their family and employer. Other working mothers are physically tired as they run around keeping manic schedules. They are also emotionally tired. For too long they have neglected their own wants and needs as they attempt to other people's expectations of who they should be.
I tell the working mothers in my personal coaching practice to prioritize their lives. This means identifying the things that REALLY matter in your life---what you value and getting rid of the "should do's." The "should do's" are activities that are draining and/or simply not adding to achievement of their important goals or personal fulfillment. For most working mothers this means scaling back or totally eliminating activities that don't bring them joy. I firmly believe that a working mother cannot design a happy, harmonious or abundant life until she takes off her Superwoman cape and asks for help.
Working Mother and Blogger Meredith O'Brien takes on this topic in her post, Martyr in the House that discusses the fictional doctor, Lisa Cuddy from the Fox television program "House." The single, driven doctor is transitioning to life as an adoptive mother and by her own accounts she's failing. A colleague tells her that rather than create unreasonable standards for herself as a working mother, she she act like a man and get some help. Sound advice....
To Read Meredith's post click here
I tell the working mothers in my personal coaching practice to prioritize their lives. This means identifying the things that REALLY matter in your life---what you value and getting rid of the "should do's." The "should do's" are activities that are draining and/or simply not adding to achievement of their important goals or personal fulfillment. For most working mothers this means scaling back or totally eliminating activities that don't bring them joy. I firmly believe that a working mother cannot design a happy, harmonious or abundant life until she takes off her Superwoman cape and asks for help.
Working Mother and Blogger Meredith O'Brien takes on this topic in her post, Martyr in the House that discusses the fictional doctor, Lisa Cuddy from the Fox television program "House." The single, driven doctor is transitioning to life as an adoptive mother and by her own accounts she's failing. A colleague tells her that rather than create unreasonable standards for herself as a working mother, she she act like a man and get some help. Sound advice....
To Read Meredith's post click here
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Mothers: Save Your Marriage by Spending More Time with Your Spouse and Your Friends
For quite a while, studies have shown that marital bliss hits a nosedive with the arrival of children. It seems that the flaw in these studies has been that they did not distinguish accidental parents from intentional parents. Nor did the studies seem to take into account whether the parents were in agreement on their family roles and parenting styles or not.
As reported in a recent New York Times op-ed,"Till Children Do Us Part" new study out of the University of California at Berkeley shows that with the arrival of children marital happiness can actually increase, particularly if the parents continue to spend time together renewing their relationship. Marital happiness is also aided by parents who are regularly engaged with friends and family members.
It seems that kids benefit most from happy parents---not unhappy ones who are stressed out and cranky because they trying to make it to third activity that Saturday afternoon.
As reported in a recent New York Times op-ed,"Till Children Do Us Part" new study out of the University of California at Berkeley shows that with the arrival of children marital happiness can actually increase, particularly if the parents continue to spend time together renewing their relationship. Marital happiness is also aided by parents who are regularly engaged with friends and family members.
It seems that kids benefit most from happy parents---not unhappy ones who are stressed out and cranky because they trying to make it to third activity that Saturday afternoon.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Are You Blocking Your Blessings?
Why does it seem that some people are luckier than others? The "lucky" folks seem to glide through life racking up enviable opportunities and wonderful relationships. These folks also seem adept at avoiding disasters, but if they hit a pitfall, they're able to quickly turn the situation around. These folks consistently have great jobs, invitations to interesting events, satisfying long-term partnerships and good health. This is in mark contrast to the "unlucky" masses who are always schlepping along feeling that they are a day late and a dollar when it comes to snagging life's big rewards.
Successful people are not usually more talented or educated, but they have a better attitude. Let's look at my hairstylist. Some may call her lucky. She told me that she wanted to do the hair of a high-profile socialite who had just moved to Washington, DC. Unbeknownst to my hairdresser, late one Friday night--just before closing the woman's assistant called the salon asking for an appointment. Although the assistant had never been to the salon before my hairstylist told her to come in. The two women chatted, the assistant discussed that she was going to a photo shoot for a national magazine the next day. Then to the surprise of my hairstylist the assistant revealed the name of her boss, Ms. High Profile Socialite. The assistant left the shop loving her new hairdo and was appreciative to my hairstylist for being so helpful. Without much prompting she said that she would pass on my hairstylist's contact information to Ms. High-Profile Socialite. At minimum my hairstylist gained a new client who will sing her praises, resulting in more business. She however may also hit the jackpot by getting Ms. High-Profile Socialite to also become a client--resulting in her own professional reputation being raised considerably.
So was my hairdresser lucky?
Maybe....
Or perhaps she did not allow her attitude to "block her blessings."
Performance consultant, Dr. Alan Zimmerman says "I've noticed that attitude makes a huge difference in determining a person's level of success in life. In fact, attitude seems to make a bigger difference than age, sex, race, education, circumstances or any other factor. Two people can have the same background and face the same situations, but experience very different outcomes. It's all about attitude
My hairstylist's great attitude may indeed help her get Ms. High-Profile socialite as a client. She could have flat-out declined the assistant's last minute request for appointment. Or should could have reluctantly honored the request, but then been sullen to the assistant. Or should could have done a crappy job on her hair. However my hairstylist is a consummate professional who believes in serving the client. When she got the request for a last minute appointment she was accommodating. When the new client arrived she was pleasant and engaging. Most important she delivered a fabulous hairstyle.
Thomas Edison, the inventor, said, "Most people don't recognize opportunity when it comes, because it's usually dressed in overalls and looks a lot like work." How many times have you said that you said that you wanted something: A better paying job, a more nurturing relationship or even a new apartment. You miss out because the opportunity that is presented to you just doesn't seem that appealing. You find out your dream job requires you to take a temporary pay-cut while you're in a training program. The nice guy that you're introduced to isn't a snazzy dresser. You've found an apartment that you can actually afford with all the amenities that you want---but it's across town away from where all your friends live.
Many of us say that we believe in principles such as: "The Power of Intention," "manifesting" or even the Biblical, "Ask and ye shall receive," and declare that we want major change to occur in our lives YET we don't want to re-vamp our attitude to make a way for the change. We keep getting stuck because we fail to realize that without a new attitude and accompanying new actions, we can only get more of the same, dead-end job, dysfunctional relationship or mediocre apartment. Through our unwillingness to explore the possibilities sent our way, we've told the Universe--I'm not REALLY ready to do what's necessary to improve my life.
So if you are serious about having a better job (making more money) and having better relationships it's time to change your attitude. Having a bad attitude is a contributing factor in why highly qualified people get fired. Bad attitudes are also cited as key reasons why relationships fail. Although most people believe that they have a good attitude, research shows that 85% of the people studied were actually pretty negative. How can you tell whether you have a good or bad attitude? Think about what your first reaction is to any given situation--is it negative and pessimistic or is it optimistic and hopeful? If your boss says she wants to see you are you expecting to be fired or to receive a bonus? If you boyfriend doesn't call for few days do you think he's cheating or just busy?
What I mean by attitude is your preconceived notions or expectations about a person or situation. Without much, if any, information or first hand experience are you quick to decide that a person, event or thing is not your cup of tea? Attitude also involves how you interact with people--generally are you pleasant, curt or totally indifferent? Are you only nice and interested in people whom you think can do something for you? Do you forgo small talk with strangers because you don't see the point because you'll never see them again?
Attitude is a choice that you make everyday. The same way that you choice to have a bad attitude you can choose to have a good one. Now having a good attitude doesn't mean sticking your head in the sand and disregarding bad news or your internal warning bells. It does mean approaching life from the standpoint that the world is welcoming and endlessly abundant, NOT the world is hostile and everything is scarce. Whether you call it luck, good vibes or karma, pleasant people usually attract more opportunities than unpleasant people. It means truly believing that you can dramatically improve your income, quality of your relationships and your life NOW-----despite all the gloom and doom reports about the "bad" economy.
So how can you improve your attitude and your opportunities?
Survey Your Strengths: Many times our bad attitude stems from our own lack of self-love. We think that everyone around us is so much better than we are. However by taking time to identify your strengths, both large and small, you will get a better sense of how wonderful you actually are. This list will boost your morale on challenging days and it will give you confidence to take bold steps toward an improved life. Take 5 minutes or 5 days to think about all of the many things that you are good at and write them all down.
Affirm Yourself: We are our worst critics. The constant chatter in our heads that we are not enough--smart, educated, talented, young, pretty, thin, etc. places limits on what we believe that we should achieve in our lives. It's no mystery that people with low self-esteem often have less than satisfying lives. They don't believe that they deserve more and as a result they don't get life's rewards. Showing yourself self-love through affirmations may sound hokey, but if saying "I love and accept you" once a day to yourself can improve up your life why not try it. There are very few champions in any field who walk around saying, "I'm not so hot." On the contrary, many top athletes regular visualize themselves winning competitions. Boxer Muhammad Ali publicly declared himself, "The Greatest." It's not conceited to affirm to yourself that you are special and worthy--it's rejuvenating!
Broaden Your Perspective: Be open to learning new things and meeting new people. Improving your life requires that you expand your concept of who you are and who you can achieve. Surrounding yourself with new ideas and new perspectives helps you to explore and identify new opportunities for yourself. Get out of your comfort zone by trying something new. Even small changes like driving a different route to and from work or shopping at a different market may provide you with some new experiences or information. Also be open to the possibility that seemingly "bad" situations usually are opportunities for growth that lead to rewards.
Build Your Network: Stay connected to people you know and get to know new people. Be pleasant and genuinely interested in the people you encounter. Start small by just smiling at people on the street or saying hello to someone in your neighborhood or in your office. Also you never know you'll meet at the airport or even at the playground--idle chitchat can sometimes net you big contacts and big opportunities. Interacting with people in a kind manner or at least acknowledging their existence costs you very little each day. It's important to keep in mind that you never know where assistance may come from. People help people---by passing on information, tips or resumes whom they know, like and trust.
This week consider how your attitude may be blocking your blessings. Bad attitudes are frequently covering up fears and insecurities. Once you ditch your bad attitude, you will be ready to create a new and exciting life move full of love, joy and prosperity.
If a bad attitude is helping you maintain a mediocre status quo then subscribe to my FREE ezine Empowerment Zone to get you unstuck and on the road to experiencing a happier, more harmonious and abundant life. You will receive it when to request a copy of my FREE report, "How to Create a Happy, Harmonious and Abundant Life."
Successful people are not usually more talented or educated, but they have a better attitude. Let's look at my hairstylist. Some may call her lucky. She told me that she wanted to do the hair of a high-profile socialite who had just moved to Washington, DC. Unbeknownst to my hairdresser, late one Friday night--just before closing the woman's assistant called the salon asking for an appointment. Although the assistant had never been to the salon before my hairstylist told her to come in. The two women chatted, the assistant discussed that she was going to a photo shoot for a national magazine the next day. Then to the surprise of my hairstylist the assistant revealed the name of her boss, Ms. High Profile Socialite. The assistant left the shop loving her new hairdo and was appreciative to my hairstylist for being so helpful. Without much prompting she said that she would pass on my hairstylist's contact information to Ms. High-Profile Socialite. At minimum my hairstylist gained a new client who will sing her praises, resulting in more business. She however may also hit the jackpot by getting Ms. High-Profile Socialite to also become a client--resulting in her own professional reputation being raised considerably.
So was my hairdresser lucky?
Maybe....
Or perhaps she did not allow her attitude to "block her blessings."
Performance consultant, Dr. Alan Zimmerman says "I've noticed that attitude makes a huge difference in determining a person's level of success in life. In fact, attitude seems to make a bigger difference than age, sex, race, education, circumstances or any other factor. Two people can have the same background and face the same situations, but experience very different outcomes. It's all about attitude
My hairstylist's great attitude may indeed help her get Ms. High-Profile socialite as a client. She could have flat-out declined the assistant's last minute request for appointment. Or should could have reluctantly honored the request, but then been sullen to the assistant. Or should could have done a crappy job on her hair. However my hairstylist is a consummate professional who believes in serving the client. When she got the request for a last minute appointment she was accommodating. When the new client arrived she was pleasant and engaging. Most important she delivered a fabulous hairstyle.
Thomas Edison, the inventor, said, "Most people don't recognize opportunity when it comes, because it's usually dressed in overalls and looks a lot like work." How many times have you said that you said that you wanted something: A better paying job, a more nurturing relationship or even a new apartment. You miss out because the opportunity that is presented to you just doesn't seem that appealing. You find out your dream job requires you to take a temporary pay-cut while you're in a training program. The nice guy that you're introduced to isn't a snazzy dresser. You've found an apartment that you can actually afford with all the amenities that you want---but it's across town away from where all your friends live.
Many of us say that we believe in principles such as: "The Power of Intention," "manifesting" or even the Biblical, "Ask and ye shall receive," and declare that we want major change to occur in our lives YET we don't want to re-vamp our attitude to make a way for the change. We keep getting stuck because we fail to realize that without a new attitude and accompanying new actions, we can only get more of the same, dead-end job, dysfunctional relationship or mediocre apartment. Through our unwillingness to explore the possibilities sent our way, we've told the Universe--I'm not REALLY ready to do what's necessary to improve my life.
So if you are serious about having a better job (making more money) and having better relationships it's time to change your attitude. Having a bad attitude is a contributing factor in why highly qualified people get fired. Bad attitudes are also cited as key reasons why relationships fail. Although most people believe that they have a good attitude, research shows that 85% of the people studied were actually pretty negative. How can you tell whether you have a good or bad attitude? Think about what your first reaction is to any given situation--is it negative and pessimistic or is it optimistic and hopeful? If your boss says she wants to see you are you expecting to be fired or to receive a bonus? If you boyfriend doesn't call for few days do you think he's cheating or just busy?
What I mean by attitude is your preconceived notions or expectations about a person or situation. Without much, if any, information or first hand experience are you quick to decide that a person, event or thing is not your cup of tea? Attitude also involves how you interact with people--generally are you pleasant, curt or totally indifferent? Are you only nice and interested in people whom you think can do something for you? Do you forgo small talk with strangers because you don't see the point because you'll never see them again?
Attitude is a choice that you make everyday. The same way that you choice to have a bad attitude you can choose to have a good one. Now having a good attitude doesn't mean sticking your head in the sand and disregarding bad news or your internal warning bells. It does mean approaching life from the standpoint that the world is welcoming and endlessly abundant, NOT the world is hostile and everything is scarce. Whether you call it luck, good vibes or karma, pleasant people usually attract more opportunities than unpleasant people. It means truly believing that you can dramatically improve your income, quality of your relationships and your life NOW-----despite all the gloom and doom reports about the "bad" economy.
So how can you improve your attitude and your opportunities?
Survey Your Strengths: Many times our bad attitude stems from our own lack of self-love. We think that everyone around us is so much better than we are. However by taking time to identify your strengths, both large and small, you will get a better sense of how wonderful you actually are. This list will boost your morale on challenging days and it will give you confidence to take bold steps toward an improved life. Take 5 minutes or 5 days to think about all of the many things that you are good at and write them all down.
Affirm Yourself: We are our worst critics. The constant chatter in our heads that we are not enough--smart, educated, talented, young, pretty, thin, etc. places limits on what we believe that we should achieve in our lives. It's no mystery that people with low self-esteem often have less than satisfying lives. They don't believe that they deserve more and as a result they don't get life's rewards. Showing yourself self-love through affirmations may sound hokey, but if saying "I love and accept you" once a day to yourself can improve up your life why not try it. There are very few champions in any field who walk around saying, "I'm not so hot." On the contrary, many top athletes regular visualize themselves winning competitions. Boxer Muhammad Ali publicly declared himself, "The Greatest." It's not conceited to affirm to yourself that you are special and worthy--it's rejuvenating!
Broaden Your Perspective: Be open to learning new things and meeting new people. Improving your life requires that you expand your concept of who you are and who you can achieve. Surrounding yourself with new ideas and new perspectives helps you to explore and identify new opportunities for yourself. Get out of your comfort zone by trying something new. Even small changes like driving a different route to and from work or shopping at a different market may provide you with some new experiences or information. Also be open to the possibility that seemingly "bad" situations usually are opportunities for growth that lead to rewards.
Build Your Network: Stay connected to people you know and get to know new people. Be pleasant and genuinely interested in the people you encounter. Start small by just smiling at people on the street or saying hello to someone in your neighborhood or in your office. Also you never know you'll meet at the airport or even at the playground--idle chitchat can sometimes net you big contacts and big opportunities. Interacting with people in a kind manner or at least acknowledging their existence costs you very little each day. It's important to keep in mind that you never know where assistance may come from. People help people---by passing on information, tips or resumes whom they know, like and trust.
This week consider how your attitude may be blocking your blessings. Bad attitudes are frequently covering up fears and insecurities. Once you ditch your bad attitude, you will be ready to create a new and exciting life move full of love, joy and prosperity.
If a bad attitude is helping you maintain a mediocre status quo then subscribe to my FREE ezine Empowerment Zone to get you unstuck and on the road to experiencing a happier, more harmonious and abundant life. You will receive it when to request a copy of my FREE report, "How to Create a Happy, Harmonious and Abundant Life."
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Working Moms Can Win a $10,000 Scholarship
(ARA) - With a full-time job (or several part-time jobs) and children to raise, working mothers often have very little time to pursue an education. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, more than 80 percent of single working moms lack the education they need to get ahead.
The latest government figures confirm that only 16 percent of single working mothers have a bachelor's degree or higher and only 22 percent earn more than $30,000 a year. But going back to school is worth it according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. Earning an associate's degree can add an extra $6,500 per year of income into your pocket and a bachelor's degree can add up to $19,000 every year to your paycheck.
But working mothers wanting to pursue a degree often find a financial aid system designed for full-time students living on campus.
This fall, however, working moms can get back to school with a free $10,000 scholarship. Scholarships4Moms.net is helping working mothers across the country go back to school, advance their education and get ahead in their careers. All U.S. residents over the age of 18 are eligible to win a $10,000 scholarship, but the application deadline is February 20th, so act now!
Working mothers can use the scholarship award to cover childcare expenses while they attend school, pay for classes online or to save for their children's education.
Sharonne Hillman of Paducah, Ky., is a single parent with 4 children. She won a $10,000 scholarship this summer. "I will be able to buy a better laptop to do my homework, and I can pay off some of my school loans. Not to mention, once I graduate I will get a promotion at work," she says.
Working moms Click Here for your chance to win a $10,000 scholarship to continue your education. Get started with the next phase of your life today.
Copyright © 2008, ARAnet, Inc.
The latest government figures confirm that only 16 percent of single working mothers have a bachelor's degree or higher and only 22 percent earn more than $30,000 a year. But going back to school is worth it according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. Earning an associate's degree can add an extra $6,500 per year of income into your pocket and a bachelor's degree can add up to $19,000 every year to your paycheck.
But working mothers wanting to pursue a degree often find a financial aid system designed for full-time students living on campus.
This fall, however, working moms can get back to school with a free $10,000 scholarship. Scholarships4Moms.net is helping working mothers across the country go back to school, advance their education and get ahead in their careers. All U.S. residents over the age of 18 are eligible to win a $10,000 scholarship, but the application deadline is February 20th, so act now!
Working mothers can use the scholarship award to cover childcare expenses while they attend school, pay for classes online or to save for their children's education.
Sharonne Hillman of Paducah, Ky., is a single parent with 4 children. She won a $10,000 scholarship this summer. "I will be able to buy a better laptop to do my homework, and I can pay off some of my school loans. Not to mention, once I graduate I will get a promotion at work," she says.
Working moms Click Here for your chance to win a $10,000 scholarship to continue your education. Get started with the next phase of your life today.
Copyright © 2008, ARAnet, Inc.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
The Nation's Mom-in-Chief Crafts Policy Agenda
As she prepares to step out beyond her role as the self-described “mom in chief,” Michelle Obama has been busy behind the scenes crafting a policy-driven agenda that will bring working-family issues into the White House — and she’s surrounded herself with a team of veteran political insiders and seasoned policy advocates to do it.
Aides are quick to say the first lady isn’t planning on having an independent policy power center in the East Wing. “Our job is to think through with the president and with the president’s team and assist in dialogue about policy. But the president is the policymaker,” said chief of staff Jackie Norris. In other words, it isn’t likely that Michelle Obama will be on the phone introducing herself to lawmakers on Capitol Hill, like Hillary Clinton did as first lady. At least not yet.
For the rest of the story Click Here
Aides are quick to say the first lady isn’t planning on having an independent policy power center in the East Wing. “Our job is to think through with the president and with the president’s team and assist in dialogue about policy. But the president is the policymaker,” said chief of staff Jackie Norris. In other words, it isn’t likely that Michelle Obama will be on the phone introducing herself to lawmakers on Capitol Hill, like Hillary Clinton did as first lady. At least not yet.
For the rest of the story Click Here
Saturday, January 24, 2009
"Happiness and Prosperity Come from Overcoming Fear"
Although I'm not totally unplugged from what's going on in the world, I now function with much less information. You see, I've made a conscious choice this past summer to stop watching cable talk shows and reading several weekly magazines. I have to admit that I was an information junkie and could sit for hours as pundits and commentators argued back and forth. I got to a point when I just didn’t like what all of this "information" was doing to my mindset. Rather than helping me to make decisions that could improve my life and that of my family, all the bad news made me nervous and fearful. When I focused so much on bad news it tended to affect everything else in my life. I’m still an informed person, but I now focus on news that not only informs but also inspires me.
Remember, that media companies are only interested in one thing---money in the form of advertising dollars. The more people who watch their news programs or read their publications, the more they charge their advertisers. Competition is fierce, so media companies will do almost anything to get your attention. It used to be "If it bleeds, it leads." Now it appears that fear—about the economy, the war, terrorists or contagious diseases has become the best way to keep people coming back for more since they are "fearful" of missing something important.
You see there's a lot of hype out there, and it's all plugging in to the "collective fear." When you're fearful, you cannot be happy, much less prosperous—regardless of your income. Why? Because abundance starts in your mind. When you are in fear-mode, you are acting from a place of scarcity—"I don’t have enough," or "I might lose the little that I have." You’re white knuckling everyday "just trying to make it," instead of using your considerable talents and energies to thrive. Fear based thinking will not allow you to see or create opportunities for yourself that will result in MORE of everything—TIME, LOVE or MONEY.
This has been a year of enormous growth for me. The motherhood anthology that I edited is being published in a few months and with any new book, you are always concerned about how the public will receive it. I've also spent a a chunk of change to upgrade my business so that I could better serve the women who come to me. I did have some reservations about spending the money, but then I remembered an an old saying, "Scared money, don't make money." After unpacking my fears I realized that the more help and value that I can provide the more that I will be rewarded financially and spiritually. The only way to start that process was to write some checks.
Listen, I get that fear is a major emotion. It's easy to get sucked in. I know a few people right now who are gripped with fear. They're holding their money so tight that they’ve even stopped buying a cup of coffee at Starbucks. They are absolutely miserable. And you know what? They are focusing on the cost of a latte instead of the important steps that they should be taking to improve their lives and finances in this new economy.
Webster's New World Dictionary defines fear as: anxiety, caused by real or possible danger. There are times when fear serves a real purpose like helping us to avoid physical harm or danger. We should be fearful of a hot stove or an out of control car. However the fear that stop us from living our best lives is detrimental. Maybe a better definition of fear is: False Expectations Appearing Real.
Here’s the problem: false expectations and perceived danger. We tend to experience fear in our lives when we take risks and step out of comfort zone into unfamiliar territory. Fear actually can help us to grow, if we see it as an opportunity to expand our lives by building more confidence, trust and faith in ourselves, decisions and abilities.
Playing it safe will net you more of the same mediocre results. To have a larger, more fulfilling and more abundant life, you have to realize the value of fear and make it your friend. Some of us afraid to do anything new. We hold on to relationships that no longer serve us, stay in low-paying, unfulfilling jobs and refuse to interact with people different than ourselves. When your fear isn’t signaling REAL danger it means you are experiencing a chance to grow.
When you get scared and fear shows up, here are some questions that you can ask yourself that will help you determine whether your fear is real or imagined.
- "Can this perceived danger cause me harm?"
- "What is worst thing that could happen to me?"
- "Is there something I can do to protect myself?"
- "Will I be able to handle whatever comes up?" The answer for me is always YES.
More often than not, once we unpack our fears we realize that our doom scenario is either manageable or a just big fat figment of our imaginations.
I’ve found that I can get out of fear by focusing on what's going well. Be in gratitude for what you DO have. Start making a list of even the smallest things—having a warm winter coat, a roof over your head, food on your table, your full mental capacities, your eyesight (even if you wear glasses). Add your family and/or good friends. If you have a working car or the money to get on a public transformation bus or train, be grateful for that. Fear frequently focuses on what we think we lack. Of course what we lack, whether it’s money, education, connections, good looks, etc. is exactly what we THINK we need to have a better life. Even if your current circumstances are modest, by focusing on what you "have" you'll come to understand that you already possess many of things you need to improve your life—emotionally, spiritually and financially.
This week consider where fear might be keeping you stuck in your life. Once you conquer your inner fear, you will be ready to create a new and exciting life move full of love, joy and prosperity.
If fear is keeping you stuck and unfulfilled then check out my VIP Coaching Day (see below) to get you unstuck and on the road to experiencing a happier, more harmonious and abundant life.
© 2009 Full Disclosure, LLC. All rights reserved.
Want to use this article on your website or your own ezine? No problem! But here's what you MUST include: Yvonne Bynoe, The Working Moms Mentor, is creator of the Working Moms Balancing System(™), the proven step-by-step program to design your best life---one that is happier, more harmonious and more prosperous. To receive your FREE weekly life strategies that can transform your life immediately, sign up for Empowerment Zone w/Yvonne Bynoe, visit http://www.workingmomsmentor.com.
Remember, that media companies are only interested in one thing---money in the form of advertising dollars. The more people who watch their news programs or read their publications, the more they charge their advertisers. Competition is fierce, so media companies will do almost anything to get your attention. It used to be "If it bleeds, it leads." Now it appears that fear—about the economy, the war, terrorists or contagious diseases has become the best way to keep people coming back for more since they are "fearful" of missing something important.
You see there's a lot of hype out there, and it's all plugging in to the "collective fear." When you're fearful, you cannot be happy, much less prosperous—regardless of your income. Why? Because abundance starts in your mind. When you are in fear-mode, you are acting from a place of scarcity—"I don’t have enough," or "I might lose the little that I have." You’re white knuckling everyday "just trying to make it," instead of using your considerable talents and energies to thrive. Fear based thinking will not allow you to see or create opportunities for yourself that will result in MORE of everything—TIME, LOVE or MONEY.
This has been a year of enormous growth for me. The motherhood anthology that I edited is being published in a few months and with any new book, you are always concerned about how the public will receive it. I've also spent a a chunk of change to upgrade my business so that I could better serve the women who come to me. I did have some reservations about spending the money, but then I remembered an an old saying, "Scared money, don't make money." After unpacking my fears I realized that the more help and value that I can provide the more that I will be rewarded financially and spiritually. The only way to start that process was to write some checks.
Listen, I get that fear is a major emotion. It's easy to get sucked in. I know a few people right now who are gripped with fear. They're holding their money so tight that they’ve even stopped buying a cup of coffee at Starbucks. They are absolutely miserable. And you know what? They are focusing on the cost of a latte instead of the important steps that they should be taking to improve their lives and finances in this new economy.
Webster's New World Dictionary defines fear as: anxiety, caused by real or possible danger. There are times when fear serves a real purpose like helping us to avoid physical harm or danger. We should be fearful of a hot stove or an out of control car. However the fear that stop us from living our best lives is detrimental. Maybe a better definition of fear is: False Expectations Appearing Real.
Here’s the problem: false expectations and perceived danger. We tend to experience fear in our lives when we take risks and step out of comfort zone into unfamiliar territory. Fear actually can help us to grow, if we see it as an opportunity to expand our lives by building more confidence, trust and faith in ourselves, decisions and abilities.
Playing it safe will net you more of the same mediocre results. To have a larger, more fulfilling and more abundant life, you have to realize the value of fear and make it your friend. Some of us afraid to do anything new. We hold on to relationships that no longer serve us, stay in low-paying, unfulfilling jobs and refuse to interact with people different than ourselves. When your fear isn’t signaling REAL danger it means you are experiencing a chance to grow.
When you get scared and fear shows up, here are some questions that you can ask yourself that will help you determine whether your fear is real or imagined.
- "Can this perceived danger cause me harm?"
- "What is worst thing that could happen to me?"
- "Is there something I can do to protect myself?"
- "Will I be able to handle whatever comes up?" The answer for me is always YES.
More often than not, once we unpack our fears we realize that our doom scenario is either manageable or a just big fat figment of our imaginations.
I’ve found that I can get out of fear by focusing on what's going well. Be in gratitude for what you DO have. Start making a list of even the smallest things—having a warm winter coat, a roof over your head, food on your table, your full mental capacities, your eyesight (even if you wear glasses). Add your family and/or good friends. If you have a working car or the money to get on a public transformation bus or train, be grateful for that. Fear frequently focuses on what we think we lack. Of course what we lack, whether it’s money, education, connections, good looks, etc. is exactly what we THINK we need to have a better life. Even if your current circumstances are modest, by focusing on what you "have" you'll come to understand that you already possess many of things you need to improve your life—emotionally, spiritually and financially.
This week consider where fear might be keeping you stuck in your life. Once you conquer your inner fear, you will be ready to create a new and exciting life move full of love, joy and prosperity.
If fear is keeping you stuck and unfulfilled then check out my VIP Coaching Day (see below) to get you unstuck and on the road to experiencing a happier, more harmonious and abundant life.
© 2009 Full Disclosure, LLC. All rights reserved.
Want to use this article on your website or your own ezine? No problem! But here's what you MUST include: Yvonne Bynoe, The Working Moms Mentor, is creator of the Working Moms Balancing System(™), the proven step-by-step program to design your best life---one that is happier, more harmonious and more prosperous. To receive your FREE weekly life strategies that can transform your life immediately, sign up for Empowerment Zone w/Yvonne Bynoe, visit http://www.workingmomsmentor.com.
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