Money Books for Mothers Who Hate Finances

Many working mothers fail to develop a strong financial vision for themselves and their families not because they are naive or irresponsible. They don't take an active role usually out of fear---fear that they don't know enough to manage their families' money.

This economy has showed us that even high-wage earning husbands can and do lose their jobs. This means that Working Moms and SAHMs have to seriously think about how they and their families would fair if either they or their husbands lose their jobs.

Here are three great financial books that will help women who have avoided dealing with their families finances.


Women and Money: Owning the Power to Control Your Destiny Suze Orman

Make Money, Not Excuses: Wake Up, Take Charge & Overcome Financial Fears Forever
Jean Chatzey

7 Money Mantra for a Richer Life: How to Live Well with the Money You HaveMichelle Singletary

Creating a Strong Financial Vision is one of the principles of the Working Moms Balancing System (TM) Learn more about it at Working Moms Mentor

The Economy is Forcing More Moms Back to Work

According to a recent article in Time magazine men make up 82% of the recession’s job losses, which means a lot more mothers are looking for work as a way to replace the husband's lost paycheck. The Time magazine article discusses the shifting reality for many women married to White collar professionals. These mothers who had "opted out" of Corporate America to care for their children are now despite to find jobs, now that their husbands are unemployed.

Using my Working Moms Balancing System(TM) I coach mothers about how to develop a strong financial vision for the families in the event that their husbands gets sick, dies, loses his job, or wants a divorce. Regardless of your husband's income, advance planning means that you and their family will be able to continue to maintain your desired lifestyle, even in the face of an economic downturn.

The Importance of Self-Care

Far too many working mothers put their jobs, household responsibilities and other people before themselves. Although they may not actually say it, their actions translate to, "I'm not as important and I don't deserve to put my needs first."

What many working moms fail to realize is that if you don't meet your own emotional and physical needs, you will have trouble meeting the needs of those who depend on you. Self-care is key to you being able to take care of others. In my Working Moms Balancing System (TM) I often tell women that "self-care" is akin to the fly attendant telling passengers to put on their oxygen mask first, even if they have children. If you are run down, tired or emotionally depleted, you simply will not be able to assist your family members or make valuable contributions to your work life.

So practice self-care on a regular basis. Take a bubble bath each evening to unwind; sign up for a weekly class; schedule a regular date-night with your partner or have a weekend lunch with your girlfriends. It's less important what you do, than that you consistently do things that replenish your mind, body and soul.

The Way to Get More is to Be Thankful for What You've Got"

Every morning when I wake up, I say, "Thank You." I say thank you to the Creator that I have been given another day to love, to nurture my son and to take action into becoming the person that I want to be. Being thankful for what you already have is the easiest thing that you can do to let the Universe know that you are ready to receive even more love and opportunities. When I coach working mothers, I tell them, "You can't create a less stressful, more fulfilling, more financially abundant life until you begin to be truly grateful for your current life."

Oprah Winfrey says, "I started out giving thanks for small things and the more thankful I became, the more my bounty increased. That's because what you focus on expands, and when you focus on the good in your life, you create more of it. Opportunities, relationships, even money flowed my way when I learned to be grateful no matter what happened in my life."

Think of yourself as a giant magnet. Whatever you are feeling, whether it's love, fear, anger, happiness, anger, joy, gratitude, resistance etc., you are creating a magnetic force that draws you to people, events, conditions and circumstances which directly represent what your emotions. If you hate your old car, don't be surprised if it's constantly breaking down. If you fear poverty, you probably find it difficult to either make money or to hold onto it for long. However if you express gratitude for what any situation projects: a life lesson, an opportunity, love, friendship, honesty, your home, your family, the ability to pay your bills, your health, etc. a magnetic force draws to you more of what you are expressing gratitude for.

Master teacher and author Iyanla Vanzant says whatever is going on in your life say, "Thank you." Even if you are in the middle of a "crisis", saying "Thank you" does two things: First it alerts you to the fact that you are intended to learn something about YOURSELF through the situation that you are going through. For example, you may find that you owe $1,000 more on your income tax than you thought, or you may lose your job to downsizing. You might ask, "How do you wrap gratitude around that?" Here's your answer, the second point. Saying "Thank you" affirms that you have the faith to not just survive the situation that you're in, but also the wisdom to use the lesson to catapult your life forward.

Gratitude doesn't mean that you jump for joy at whatever occurs in your life. Instead, it means that you acknowledge, bear witness to, and see whatever is put before you. You are willing to let it be there, doing nothing to postpone whatever lesson or opportunity comes from fortune and misfortune. For example: The extra $1,000 you owe the IRS could be a lesson about taking better care of your financial affairs. The job loss may force you to stop making excuses about why you can't pursue the "dream" business that you've been talking about for years.

I heard about one couple who opened an expensive bottle of wine after learning that the husband had lost his high-paying job. They toasted each other and gave thanks for their lives. I wasn't surprised to learn that several weeks later a former business associate offered the husband a new job. When I am feeling less than joyful, I look around and find things that make me happy: pictures of my son, a hot cup of green tea, beautiful music, time to reflect, financial abundance, healthy family, wonderful friends, etc. After 10 minutes of doing this I usually feel better. Some people keep a Gratitude Journal to record the thing that they are thankful for on a daily basis. There is no right way to be grateful. Just find a way that works for you.

This week think about how you can show gratitude. Create a ritual or practice that you can do everyday that allows you to say "thank you" for all of the good in your life. Don't make it a rote exercise, but one that is heartfelt. Once you start focusing your attention on the beauty and abundance that your life already possesses, you'll be ready to open you mind and heart to even more love, joy and prosperity.

5 Legal Documents Every Working Moms Needs

On of the steps of my Working Moms Balancing System (TM) is "Build A Strong Financial Vision." I coach working mothers on the importance of organizing their financial lives to support their families, in the unfortunate event that they get sick or die.

On the CNBC program, "In the Money" family attorney, Alexis Martin Neely
discussed the five legal documents everyone needs, ESPECIALLY if you have children.

Those 5 Documents Are:

1. Guardianship documents for your children. You may need to have a short-term guardian to take care of your children in case you are hospitalized. You may also need a long-term guardian in the event you are permanently incapacitated or die. Martin suggests keeping the names of your children's
guardian(s) in your wallet in case of an accident. Get her FREE Kids Protection Kit

2. A Will: This document will dictate to whom you want your personal property and money to go to.

3. A Living Trust:. This document will indicate how you want your house, rental property and other assets to be distributed. A living trust is a way to avoid probate court.

4. A Durable Power of Attorney: This document gives another adult the legal authority to conduct your personal business (e.g.banking, paying bills) and/or to make decisions on your behalf in the event that you are unable to do so.

5. An Advance Healthcare Directive: In the event that you are unable to voice your wishes, this documents gives doctors and medical personnel instructions about the type(s) of medical treatment, procedures and lifesaving measures you want performed.


See Alexis Martin Neely's entire CNBC interview:

Being a Perfectionist is Over-Rated

I checked Facebook this morning and found a wonderful "note" from a friend, Nikki Duncan-Smith; she sent it out to her friendship circle. I had the pleasure of meeting Nikki years ago before there was Facebook. She's a wonderful writer, wife and mother. So I wanted to share these words of wisdom--- about releasing our need to be perfect that she passed on to her friends.

It is good to remember that one of our goals in life is to not be perfect. We often lose track of this aspiration. When we make mistakes, we think that we are failing or not measuring up. But if life is about experimenting, experiencing, and learning, then to be imperfect is a prerequisite. Life becomes much more interesting once we let go of our quest for perfection and aspire for imperfection instead.

This doesn’t mean that we don’t strive to be our best. We simply accept that there is no such thing as perfection—especially in life. All living things are in a ceaseless state of movement. Even as you read this, your hair is growing, your cells are dying and being reborn, and your blood is moving through your veins. Your life changes more than it stays the same. Perfection may happen in a moment, but it will not last because it is an impermanent state. Trying to hold on to perfection or forcing it to happen causes frustration and unhappiness.

In spite of this, many of us are in the habit of trying to be perfect. One way to nudge ourselves out of this tendency is to look at our lives and notice that no one is judging us to see whether or not we are perfect. Sometimes, perfectionism is a holdover from our childhood—an ideal we inherited from a demanding parent. We are adults now, and we can choose to let go of the need to perform for someone else’s approval. Similarly, we can choose to experience the universe as a loving place where we are free to be imperfect. Once we realize this, we can begin to take ourselves less seriously and have more fun. Imperfection is inherent t o being human. By embracing your imperfections, you embrace yourself.

How to Achieve Goals that REALLY Matter to You

Recently I was asked, "What do you tell someone who’s doing all the things you’re supposed to--- affirmations, managing her time, taking actions but she’s still not reaching her goals? I responded that if a person is doing all of the "right" thing and she is not making any progress it’s time for her to re-examine her goals. To put it plainly it’s time for the woman to come clean with herself. She has to decide whether the goal that is eluding her is something that she actually wants or something that she thinks that she "should" want.

Unfortunately too many working mothers make decisions about their lives based on "shoulds" rather than on their wants. This list of "shoulds" is often quite lengthy and is usually a collection of the opinions and thoughts of the woman’s family and friends. It includes a variety of categories such as "how she should dress," "how she should parent her children," "who she should be friends with," what kind of car she should drive" and "what kind of wife/partner she should be." If a woman just follows the list of "shoulds," she pleases her friends and family but she isn’t asking herself whether or not the items on that list correspond to her true beliefs and desires. What this means is that if the woman’s stated goal isn’t in alignment with the her values and principles, it’s unlikely that she will attain it. You may ask why?

If a person is really committed to a goal that is aligned with her core values, she’ll do WHATEVER it takes to achieve it. WHATEVER could mean getting a new job, going back to school, moving to a new city, hiring a coach, ending a relationship or cutting back on commitments. However if the woman is lukewarm about the goal, she’s only make half-hearted measures to achieve----despite lip service to the contrary. I’ve said over and over to clients that people do the hard, difficult work when some really matters to them, when they really want change. If a person isn’t willing to put in the time, sweat or tears toward a goal, it’s probably because she doesn’t really want it. In that instance the Universe will grant her wish by keeping the goal from her.

If in your bones you REALLY want a goal but it remains out of your reach, it’s time for you to do some serious thinking. Where are you stuck? Are you a procrastinator who does a lot of planning but never get around to taking the action steps. Are you kind of "hit and miss" with you goals—rarely taking consistent actions. Are you guilty of self-sabotage—not truly believing that you’re capable of achieving your goal. Whatever’s holding you back from achieving your goals realize that YOU have the ability to re-train your mind.

•You can stop "paralysis of analysis" by mapping out your goal and taking "baby steps."

•You can stop haphazard implementation by creating a lifestyle that supports daily action toward your goals

•You can free yourself from limiting beliefs that rob you of your confidence by learning to silence your internal critic.

It may sound cliche but the old Napoleon Hill quote, "If you can conceive it, you can achieve it" is still on the money. Honestly, these are three issues that nearly every successful person has to overcome. Maybe you just need help eliminating your mental obstacles

This week think about a goal that you just can’t seem attain. Think about why you’re interested in achieving the goal. It is to make yourself happy and fulfilled OR are you concerned with pleasing someone else? If you are committed to the goal then you must identify the action that you’ve been unwilling to take to make it happen. If you’re ambivalent about the goal, scrap that "should" and imagine a goal that you actually want to achieve. Once you make a firm decision, you will open yourself up to new possibilities that will help you to create a new and exciting life full of love, joy and prosperity.

Getting My Priorities Straight

Early this morning I heard birds outside my bedroom window. The sound made me conscious that I had been blessed with another day on this Earth. I began to think about how I was going to spend the day---rushing to finish my to-do list or in serious contemplation about the bigger picture as it pertains to my life?

Today I am asking myself the following questions:

1) How can I be of service?
2) What is my contribution?
3) What is my vision for my life?
4) What steps am I taking reach my short and long-term goals
5) What can I do today to live a bolder, more abundant and more fulfilling life?

Here's a quote by Margaret Young that resonates with my life assignment,
"Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then, do what you need to do, in order to have what you want."

Can Working Mothers Really Find Balance?

Balance...the equilibrium between work life and family life. It's the condition that many working mothers crave to attain. These women are seeking a way to address the myriad of needs that their varied identities: mother, wager earner, woman, daughter, community member, partner require.....and remain sane, calm and fulfilled in the process.

Writer Thembsia Mshaka in an open letter to First Lady Michelle Obama challenges the notion of balance asserting, "[w]hat women need is work-life function. ‘Balance’ connotes equal distribution. No one woman can be at the meeting that runs long, at the spring recital, and lounging before the fire in lingerie at one time. Inevitably, something gets sacrificed."

She continues by saying,"You are most fortunate to have a husband who is a present, loving, and participating father; and equally blessed to have your mother with you to share in the labor of love known as parenting. What about married women of soldiers on duty? What about single moms, women with absentee spouses who opt out of parenting, or women whose parents or extended family are in different locations, differently abled, or deceased? What about the women who can’t afford to hire a nanny or even a babysitter on a consistent basis?"

Whether a woman uses the term "balance" or "work-life function," I think that Thembsia and I agree that at core a working mother has to create a life that responds to her priorities as a woman, mother and working person. Her priorities are an expression of the working mother's personal values and principles.

In a nutshell, working mothers can't be everything to everybody in any given day, week, month or even year. In my Working Moms Balancing System (TM), I help working mothers to design lives that are based on what REALLY matters to them at this particular point in their lives. I encourage them to tap into or to create a support network as a way of gaining the assistance they need to implement their life design. I also encourage them to eliminate "should do" relationships and activities that neither bring them joy nor advance their value-based life priorities.

I personally like the word balance, but I'm very clear that it's meaning is flexible its true expression is different for each working mother.

To read Themsbia Mshaka's entire letter Women and Work in the Age of Obama