How to Achieve Goals that REALLY Matter to You

Recently I was asked, "What do you tell someone who’s doing all the things you’re supposed to--- affirmations, managing her time, taking actions but she’s still not reaching her goals? I responded that if a person is doing all of the "right" thing and she is not making any progress it’s time for her to re-examine her goals. To put it plainly it’s time for the woman to come clean with herself. She has to decide whether the goal that is eluding her is something that she actually wants or something that she thinks that she "should" want.

Unfortunately too many working mothers make decisions about their lives based on "shoulds" rather than on their wants. This list of "shoulds" is often quite lengthy and is usually a collection of the opinions and thoughts of the woman’s family and friends. It includes a variety of categories such as "how she should dress," "how she should parent her children," "who she should be friends with," what kind of car she should drive" and "what kind of wife/partner she should be." If a woman just follows the list of "shoulds," she pleases her friends and family but she isn’t asking herself whether or not the items on that list correspond to her true beliefs and desires. What this means is that if the woman’s stated goal isn’t in alignment with the her values and principles, it’s unlikely that she will attain it. You may ask why?

If a person is really committed to a goal that is aligned with her core values, she’ll do WHATEVER it takes to achieve it. WHATEVER could mean getting a new job, going back to school, moving to a new city, hiring a coach, ending a relationship or cutting back on commitments. However if the woman is lukewarm about the goal, she’s only make half-hearted measures to achieve----despite lip service to the contrary. I’ve said over and over to clients that people do the hard, difficult work when some really matters to them, when they really want change. If a person isn’t willing to put in the time, sweat or tears toward a goal, it’s probably because she doesn’t really want it. In that instance the Universe will grant her wish by keeping the goal from her.

If in your bones you REALLY want a goal but it remains out of your reach, it’s time for you to do some serious thinking. Where are you stuck? Are you a procrastinator who does a lot of planning but never get around to taking the action steps. Are you kind of "hit and miss" with you goals—rarely taking consistent actions. Are you guilty of self-sabotage—not truly believing that you’re capable of achieving your goal. Whatever’s holding you back from achieving your goals realize that YOU have the ability to re-train your mind.

•You can stop "paralysis of analysis" by mapping out your goal and taking "baby steps."

•You can stop haphazard implementation by creating a lifestyle that supports daily action toward your goals

•You can free yourself from limiting beliefs that rob you of your confidence by learning to silence your internal critic.

It may sound cliche but the old Napoleon Hill quote, "If you can conceive it, you can achieve it" is still on the money. Honestly, these are three issues that nearly every successful person has to overcome. Maybe you just need help eliminating your mental obstacles

This week think about a goal that you just can’t seem attain. Think about why you’re interested in achieving the goal. It is to make yourself happy and fulfilled OR are you concerned with pleasing someone else? If you are committed to the goal then you must identify the action that you’ve been unwilling to take to make it happen. If you’re ambivalent about the goal, scrap that "should" and imagine a goal that you actually want to achieve. Once you make a firm decision, you will open yourself up to new possibilities that will help you to create a new and exciting life full of love, joy and prosperity.